But I digress, it's time for my first "Mini-Rant" on, none other than, John Buccigross. I have a feeling the vast majority of these are going to be on him. I gotta admit, even though I don't like his columns nearly as much as other analysts' columns, he makes me think. Think about things I would like to say to his face; for instance, "your column is not really entertaining nor is it informative." Is that too formal? What about "You annoy me. Can you just stick to hockey??"
And we're off: I read his column last week called "It's my column and my Hall-worthy picks for each NHL team" and decided to touch on a few things. And by touch, I really mean, make comments or just in general bag on Buccigross.
Los Angeles Kings
Anze Kopitar: Like Van Halen after their first album. You just knew.
Rob Blake: Seven All-Star Games, a Norris Trophy, big part of the Avalanche's 2001 Cup run with 19 points in 23 games and a gigantic butt used to crush sternums.
I think one reason I don’t like Bucci is because I’m too young to get his musical jokes/tastes, which have just started to annoy the crap outta me. And I hope Rob Blake’s butt crushes his face.
Marian Gaborik: "Hey, Marian! Multivitamins, acai berries, push-ups, prayers, smash up some carrots and rub them all over your chest. Anything. Stay healthy!" I'm gonna take the long-shot guess that the 25-year-old forward can still put a 10-year stretch together to put up numbers one cannot deny.
Right when I think Bucci’s semi-redeemed himself with the Blake introspective, he immediately comes with this one for Gaborik. A little disturbing.
Chris Drury: It's my column and my rules. I make them up. He is clutch and, in life, clutch is everything. Move on.
Can someone please tell me why Bucci has this weird uber crush on Drury? And by the way, that team picture of Drury is terrible.
Erik Johnson: I believe Johnson will grade out better than Blake when it is all said and done, and resurfaced and said and done again.
What the hell. I think if anyone else had made this comment I'd think, "Hmm, okay, he played with (or was it against) JMFJ. Maybe I'll check in on him occasionally to see if he's Blake caliber." Man, I'm all annoyed at him again while just posting this! I think I'd rather Bucci just never talk about Blake again. Just stop now.