Arranging Payback for Erik Cole: a CBA question

Sort of an “exchange student” program for enforcers.

You crack me up.

“Yes, I spent a few weeks abroad as part of Thug U’s ‘Fists Across the Conference’ program.”
“Oh, that’s interesting. I spent a summer term at Raitis Ivanans’ Finishing School for Disturbing Young Gentlemen.”

Where can I vote this SB Nation Post of the Year?

stupid bettman needs to fix the schedule. the nba has it correct. you play eastern teams once home and away, division teams 4 times and the rest of the west 3 or 4 times. why would you not want your stars playing in every city once a year?

then we’d have a chance to get back at cole.

This sounds sinister………like having contracts for hitmen or something………

So maybe he’d be more useful to the Kings as a sort of black ops guy. Nothing grossly illegal, but pranks that would harass Cole, like short-sheeting his bed. Maybe sneak into the equipment and leave dog poop in his gloves. Prank ninja.

Anyway, that’s an interesting idea you’ve got about loaning out an enforcer. I have no idea whether or not it would violate any rules, but I would expect that the GM on the other end (if he’s smart) would try to exact a hefty price in return: “This is not our business. Why should we help you do your dirty work?” Kind of like negotiating military basing rights with another country when they don’t really see your enemy as their enemy. You can convince them that your enemy really is their enemy, or you can bribe them big time.

One risk that I can see from the other team’s POV is that your agent, while in their uniform, takes a penalty while carrying out his mission. So they would have to kill a penalty — which could have a material effect on their game — because you wanted to exact retribution.

But other than that, I kind of like the idea that the Kings would have sleeper agents from Tampa Bay to Washington, waiting for a call from Lombardi to “execute the mission.” Very Tom Clancy-ish. But the Kings have only 1 bonafide enforcer that they could spare, i.e., Nolan. So you’d need more if you wanted to put together a network. Maybe next year, Ivanans is out of hockey, sitting on his couch, and he gets a call from Dean asking him to take on “one more job….”?

Montreal’s made some very ingenious trades over the decades. This may be the most famous…

Before the NHL entry-draft headlined by Guy Lafleur, Montreal had acquired the 1st-round selection of the California/Oakland (Golden) Seals, which was looking to be a sure bet as the 1st-overall pick.

But, some other team (can’t remember who at the moment) had been struggling, and fell behind the Seals in the standings. So, Montreal – always a deep team – simply traded a decent, veteran defenseman to the struggling team for practically nothing.

This was enough of an improvement for that team to pass Oakland in the standings, leaving the Seals last-overall and Montreal with the 1st-overall pick in the draft, which they used to select Lafleur.

Anyhoo…