BREAKING: Sedins aren't Twins
by Quisp on Apr 15, 2010 12:53 PM PDT
in Playoffs
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PrintSeveral anonymous and completely fictional sources within the Canucks' inner-circle have confirmed the existence of a third identical Sedin brother, hidden from the world since the triplets' birth. Possibly even more shocking is the revelation that none of the three brothers have actual first names. Names on the twins' birth certificate, Henrik and Daniel, are utilized by any of the three interchangeably, not unlike the famous Shamu, who is not a single (unique) whale, but a "character" played by dozens of whales at numerous Seaworld parks. Informally, to avoid confusion, the brothers refer to each other as "you", "him" and "me." One unnamed source, who claims she dated one or several of the brothers (she is not sure) said the Sedins meet each morning to discuss who is going to play which brother that day, and who will rest. Their relationship is frequently contentious, however. Last summer, according to the source, Him grew a goatee without consulting the others and refused to shave it off. Calls to the Canucks and SeaWorld were not returned.
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oh goodness.
unfortunately, someone outdid this last week.
Nucks Misconduct's Official Ambassador, Squid Provider, etc.
GO CANUCKS GO!
My favorite of these was “The Sedins sometimes switch numbers”
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Apr 15, 2010 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
He has the B. Sedin #11 Jersey!!
How could he be fake?
by 88fingerslukee on Apr 15, 2010 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I saw the third brother once before. He was the afternoon DJ / MC when I visited Cecil’s on Grantville St. A very classy place, that Cecil’s in Vancouver is. I was in there on a Tuesday afternoon in July, and only saw five C-Section Scars during the whole time there.
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Apr 15, 2010 1:32 PM PDT reply actions
Ha…funny stuff. I believe that august establishment has been run under some developer’s bootheel. There are others that may appeal…ask for the " #5" around town.
Thanks for the laughs Quisp, some funny stuff there…
http://intenttoblow.com/?p=448
Reporters asked Sedin how he could possibly have accomplished the feat.
"Look guys, I don’t know how to say this any other way, I’m really fucking fast. I’m like a greased up Pavel Bure that craps lightning," he said.
During the offseason they lay in pools of water and predict who will commit crimes before they commit them.
“What are you going to do now, Lamar?”
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Apr 15, 2010 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions
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