What do the Kings want for Christmas?

All Bailey wants is out of that damn sweater, probably. - Stephen Dunn

All *I* want for Christmas is Mike Smith's head on a spike. I think that's a reasonable request.

Recently, I surveyed the Kings' players (and head coach Darryl Sutter) to find out what they all wanted for Christmas. I have to say that the results were fairly interesting. Here are the highlights:

  • Colin Fraser said that all he wants for Christmas is his favorite Nickelback album ("The Long Road") on vinyl.

  • Justin Williams just wants the puck.

  • Matt Frattin wants a new freezer because that's the only way he'll see ice in Los Angeles.

  • Mike Richards doesn't want anything from you personally, but it would make him very happy if you bought a shirt or hat from Rednex Rebellion.

  • Robyn Regehr said that he doesn't want anything either, because he achieved ultimate happiness by escaping Calgary and Buffalo.

  • Martin Jones wants a real challenge.

  • Slava Voynov answered in Russian, so I'm just going to hope that he said, "love and equality for all."

  • Dwight King said that his old one had too many stains, so he needs a new ski mask.

  • Kyle Clifford wants Rogaine, or at least some cool hats.

  • Jarret Stoll wants a v-neck shirt for every day of the year.

  • Alec Martinez needs some ointment to help with all of his scratches.

  • Anze Kopitar wants some hypnosis-based therapy that helps him deal with his bizarre addiction to digging through his neighborhood's garbage cans at night.

  • Tyler Toffoli just really wants to meet Santa Claus.

  • Jake Muzzin would like an eyebrow shaper.

  • Dustin Brown actually didn't give me an answer. When I asked what he needed, he yelled, "I DIDN'T KNEE ANYTHING!" and stormed out of the room.

  • Jonathan Quick wants a time machine that can take him back to 2012.

  • Dan Carcillo just wants to make his girlfriend's father proud.

  • Willie Mitchell would love to have the new Toyota Prius.

  • Trevor Lewis would like some new hands.

  • Matt Greene really needs a new pair of TruckNutz.

  • Ben Scrivens wants the same thing he wants every day... to take over the world!

  • Drew Doughty needs some more garbage cans so he can take out the trash less often.

  • Darryl Sutter confused the hell out of me. Here's his answer: "Well when you think of Christmas, you think of family. And when I think of family, I think of that show with the nerdy black kid. What's his face, Urken or something. Family Matters. That's the show. Family does matter. Anyway I think of Urken and that sounds a lot like turkey, and a turkey is three strikes in a row in bowling, which is like a bowling hat trick, and one time I got three bowling hat tricks in a row, which is 10 strikes I think, or maybe 11. Kopi wears 11, isn't he great? So all I want for Christmas is The Great Escape on VHS."

Happy holidays everyone!

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