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Who ARE these guys? What do they WANT? [game 6 - PHX preview]

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GLENDALE AZ - OCTOBER 16:  "Psst, subjugated Finnish person, hey, iz ice tilted? э*о пи**ец! I think is tilted. Regard Stempniak! He look like hypotenuse!" (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
GLENDALE AZ - OCTOBER 16: "Psst, subjugated Finnish person, hey, iz ice tilted? э*о пи**ец! I think is tilted. Regard Stempniak! He look like hypotenuse!" (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Who are they? Phoenix Coyotes.

What do they want? To be as good as last year. 

What's their ****ing problem? Injured: Ray Whitney, Ed Jovanovski, Martin Hanzal (all listed as "other-excused" -- whatever that means, on the SBN Coyotes page). Also: Shane Doan is suspended.

Who the **** do they think they are? (IN) Whitney, Eric Belanger, Andrew Ebbett, Matt Climie (OUT) Zbynek Michalek, Matthew Lombardi, Jim Vandermeer, Daniel Winnik

What, are we supposed to be scared? Eric Belanger is leading the team in points. I always liked Eric Belanger. Ilya Bryzgalov usually hurts the Kings at least once a year. Dave Tippett is some kind of evil genius. And Phoenix is faster than Carolina aren't they? That's okay. We will neutralize their speed with the Acme rocket boots of Kevin E. Westgarth, super genius.

Bob Miller's Nightmare? Nah. He no longer has to remember if this Michalek brother says it Mih-CALL-ik or Mih-HALL-ik. Probably won't call Belanger "Ken." Hopes he won't have to say "Upshall to Schlemko" three times really fast.

I thought we were friends! Ex-Kings: Belanger, Jason LaBarbera, Dave Tippett. (Funny that last night we had Tim Gleason in town, and tonight it's Belanger...the two pieces sent to Carolina in the Jack Johnson trade. And, weird, it just occurred to me, all three pieces of the Justin Williams / Patrick O'Sullivan / Erik Cole three-way trade were in the game, too.) 

Yeah, well, wait till they get a load of: this fully operational Loktionov - Kopitar - Brown

Oh, stole their diary.