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Who ARE these guys?! What do they WANT?! [Game 11 Preview - NJD]

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TRENTON, NJ - MAY 25: New Jersey Devils forward Zach Parise reads a book to young students during Zach Parise Reads to Students at the State Library on May 25, 2010 in Trenton, New Jersey. (Photo by Andy Marlin/Getty Images for the New Jersey Devils)
TRENTON, NJ - MAY 25: New Jersey Devils forward Zach Parise reads a book to young students during Zach Parise Reads to Students at the State Library on May 25, 2010 in Trenton, New Jersey. (Photo by Andy Marlin/Getty Images for the New Jersey Devils)
Andy Marlin/Getty Images for the

Who are they? Someone impersonating the New Jersey Devils

What do they want? A do-over.

What's their ****ing problem? Injured: Bryce Salvador, Anton Volchenkov. Not to mention: No one has fewer goals-for or more goals-against than the New Jersey Devil impersonators. They are off to their worst start in more than a quarter century. And guess who has the lowest GF/60 (goals-for per 60 minutes of ice-time) of all the Devils forwards...

Who the **** do they think they are? (IN) Volchenkov, Henrik Tallinder, Jason Arnott, Johan Hedberg, David McIntyre, John MacLean (coach), Ilya Kovalchuk (deadline), (OUT) Paul Martin, Ben Walter, Mike Mottau, Matt Halischuk, Rob Niedermayer, Jacques Lemaire (coach), Johnny Oduya (deadline), Patrice Cormier (deadline). 

What, are we supposed to be scared? Maybe: no team with Kovalchuk, Patrik Elias, Jamie Langenbrunner and Martin Brodeur can continue to play at the level of an expansion team for very long.

Bob Miller's Nightmare? Andy Greene / Matt Greene? Nah. This is an easy one.

I thought we were friends! Ex-Kings: Adam Mair. Ex-Devils: none.

Yeah, well, wait till they get a load of: Ryan Smyth -- all six of his points are even-strength. Also: Smyth (G-A-PTS) on the road: 0-0-0 in seven games; Smyth at home: 3-3-6 in just three games.