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From Puck Daddy: Sublime Sentence of the Day

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Ilya Bryzgalov won’t play in Winnipeg because it has no parks - Puck Daddy - NHL Blog - Yahoo! Sports

[...] From QMI and writer Paul Friesen, here's Bryzgalov, who is an unrestricted free agent this summer:

"You don't want to go to Winnipeg, right?" Bryzgalov said [...]. "Not many [...] Russian people there. Plus it's cold. There's no excitement except the hockey. No park, no entertaining for the families, for the kids. It's going to be tough life for your family."

The 30-year-old Russian's knowledge of Winnipeg comes from a visit or two when he was with Cincinnati in the AHL. "I've been there for just once, maybe twice, when I play in minors. It was really cold," Bryzgalov said. "I used the tunnels between the buildings to get to the arena. Because it was minus 40-something. Real cold."

OK, frigid weather aside, would he re-sign with GM Don Maloney if the team relocated?

"Probably not. I better go to somewhere in Russia, KHL, to be honest. Because KHL is Russian people, it's family, friends. Even as a cold place, I can speak to people in Russian language."

[...]

So, in summary: 

  • The KHL is filled with cities that contain a suitable number of parks.
  • Russian-speaking people make cold weather more tolerable.
  • Winnipeg is populated by a race of mole creatures that move between facilities though an intricate system of tunnels.

I would think you could turn that into some kind of tourist attraction. [UPDATE: Also, it suggests an excellent name for the new franchise.]