1. The Kings lose a game.
Try as they might, the Kings will probably lose a game at some undetermined point in the future. It might not happen for months, but it will happen. The Ducks will not score a goal before this happens.
2. Andy Andreoff scores a goal.
At some point, Andy Andreoff is going to find himself on the ice with Tyler Toffoli in the middle of the line change, and Tyler will bank a shot in off Andy's butt. This will most certainly happen - exactly as described - before the Ducks score another goal.
3. The Kings win another Stanley Cup.
This is fairly likely as they will win the Stanley Cup in 2016.
4. Humans live on Mars.
Our planet is dying.
5. A Mars-based hockey team scores a goal in the NHL.
They chose Jaromir Jagr with their first selection in the Expansion Draft.
6. Bruce Boudreau wins a game 7.
Congrats to the Mars Coyotes!
7. Alien life contacts Earth.
You guessed it, it was to laugh at the Anaheim Ducks.
8. All life relocates to Mars.
The NHL teams came up in separate shuttles because Ducks Fly Together.
9. The Mars Ducks become the Mars Mighty Ducks.
It doesn't help. The Mars Mighty Ducks go 246 games without scoring a goal. They change back to the Mars Ducks after that and...
10. The Mars Ducks fold.
Here are three bonus things that will happen Before The Ducks Score Again: