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Justin Williams Signs with the Capitals

I have created an entire river of tears

JUST KILL ME
JUST KILL ME
Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Goodbye Mr. Game 7. Goodbye Mr. Corsi. Goodbye Stick. We love you. We already miss you. Please never forget us. I love you. I baked you a cake and then I ate it because I'm sad.

Williams signed a 2-year deal worth 3.25m per year. The Kings did not match this for... reasons. I don't know these reasons. I'm sure they'll make me sad again later.

For the rest of this post, I'll let special guest Prince take it away:

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your love away
Since u been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues,

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u

It's been so lonely without u here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop this lonely rage
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said u better have fun
No matter what u do
Cause it's the blues

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u

All the flowers that u planted
In the back yard suga
All died when u went away
I know that living with me baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to try, said I'm willing to give it another try.

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u