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LET’S GET SILLY: Imagining Los Angeles Kings (Org) Players as Candies

Something fun to think about during the long break this week

Los Angeles Kings v Vegas Golden Knights Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Editor’s note: Introducing a new series: LET’S GET SILLY. The season is a bust as the team bounces between last place and slightly above last place. With that being said, LET’S GET SILLY.

There’s not a lot of activity going on this week as the Los Angeles Kings are in the midst of a very long break following this weekend’s All Star festivities. So we at JFTC imagined players in the organization (not just limited to the NHL squad) as candies. Why? For fun. See note above.

Players as Candies

Player(s) Candy Logic
Player(s) Candy Logic
Willie Desjardins Mirage We thought he was a coach. It was a Mirage.
Jonathan Quick Licorice Controversial as to whether he's/it's good and/or overrated
Jack Campbell Life savers Because he's saved the Kings' butts on more than one occasion
Adrian Kempe Snickers He's adorable and maybe a little nutty at times but always enjoyable to watch
Kyle Clifford Jolly ranchers Because he's a tough guy but underneath, is pretty sweet (especially when he's scoring goals)
Jonny Brodzinski Reese's Cups It's fine. It's not great but it's not, like, super awful. It's something that could be better but also something that you keep eating anyway
Tyler Toffoli Taffy Tyler Taff-oli
Nate Thompson Dairy Milk literally the most basic candy on the planet. Nate Thompson is a hockey player. Is he good? Eh. Will he do? Eh, sure why not?
Anze Kopitar York Peppermint Patty He's cool, crisp, dignified, and versitile. When you bite into it it packs a punch.
Ilya Kovalchuk Flake An import that’s not as good as you hoped it would be
Carl Hagelin Sur Skumfisk A Swedish delight and Hagelin is turning out to be just that! (When healthy, of course)
Brendan Leipsic Milky Way Masquerades as a Snickers replacement, but actually not so bad when you give it a chance
Dustin Brown Nestle Crunch King of the big crunch. King of the Toyota Tough Hit of the Game.
Alex Iafallo Smarties He went to college??
Trevor Lewis Butterfingers Well, he's not great at holding on to the puck
Jeff Carter Hot tamale He's really hot
Austin Wagner Aero He's speedy and "aero" sounds fast
Matt Luff Eat-More He's young and fun and we'd all like to see "more" of him!
Alec Martinez Hershey Kisses Because he's beautiful and we want to give him kisses
Drew Doughty Whoppers His hits are always Whoppers.
Paul LaDue Candy corn Apparently Willie Desjardins thinks Paul LaDue is candy corn because he never plays (and candy corn is terrible)
Dion Phaneuf Butterscotch hard candy because he's old lol and like grandfathers always had these
Jake Muzzin Sour patch kids His hits can leave opponents sour but it's sweet to have him on our team
Oscar Fantenberg Swedish fish He's Swedish?
Derek Forbort Hershey's chocolate bar just your standard candy bar ... nothing flashy about it ... it exists and gets the job done
That '70s Line 3 Musketeers We miss you, Tanner
Kings team Sweetart There've been a lot of sour but also sweet moments in 50 years
Cal Petersen Peanut M&Ms He's a goalie so that makes him a little weird to begin with and apparently has a personality to match
Daniel Brickley Mr. Big He was a highly prized UFA signing in the spring of 2018
Gabriel Vilardi Kit Kat He breaks a lot and you break off a piece of that kit kat bar
Jaret Anderson-Dolan Rolo A delightful center
Mikey Anderson Twizzlers He dazzled at the WJC and had a few move twisting the opposition inside out....
Rasmus Kupari Salmiakki He's Finnish and so is this candy!
Spencer Watson Skittles Small but mighty in flavor and in his skill
Akil Thomas Coffee crisp A speedy winger and Canadian and coffee gives you good energy to do things fast
Alex Dergachyov Maltesers Classic power forward that is maybe or maybe not good?
Sheldon Rempal Nerds Um he was in the NCAA?
Matt Villalta Pal o Mine Goalies are always the best pals to have on your team
Jacob Moverare Skor Has a Swedish name and um he's Swedish?
Kurtis MacDermid Tootsie pops Hard outside. How many licks to the center (of his talent)?
Kale Clague wunderbar He has a "wunder"ful name that fits in with the city of Los Angeles
Alex Lintuniemi Fazer Blue A staple in Finnish culture, it's not flashy but is reliable nonetheless and Lintuniemi emulates that pretty well
Mike Eyssimont Starburst He isn't going to be a star but he is bursting with energy
Nikita Scherbak MANGO Not a candy, he's an actual mango, like the fruit

So what did you think? Let us know in the comments below if you agree or disagree with our choices or if we missed a candy or player that should totally be on here!