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CBA Update: The Five Stages Of Lockout Grief

The NHL and NHLPA met again this weekend. That’s good, right? Look, I know you’re still upset about the cancellation of Frozen Fury. Hey, I don’t blame you. Las Vegas is a pretty cool place. But guess what, I heard on television the other day that Las Vegas won’t have anymore water in a few years, and television never lies. Do you really want to get attached to a place without water? I didn’t think so.

Anyway, the reaction among most NHL fans right now is a collection of annoyance and frustration, and if you don’t believe me just read the reply tweets to anything the NHL’s official twitter account posts. Those people are brutal.

Sports writers can’t be that brutal, fortunately, so they are the perfect group of people to determine proper human emotion. Thus, what follows are hockey writers tweets in response to the meetings this weekend as categorized by the Bettman-Fehr Five Stages of Lockout Grief scale. Enjoy!

Hope

Oh, and meet they did. Saturday’s meetings centered around drug testing and health issues, issues that were not seen as contentious, thus, in theory, they should have been solved months ago. Sunday’s meetings were to get deeper into the main problems concerning both sides.

Obviously, pragmatism could also fit this category. There were updates, but not what everyone outwardly hopes will happen. I don’t know why, but I keep hoping Gary Bettman is going to bust out the doors of one of these meetings, proclaim the lockout has ended, then joyously announce to the awaiting media that we are “all gonna get laid.” That’s hope, folks.

Anger

As seen above, fans are accustomed to hearing no news come out of these meetings. Oh, but guess what, angry sports fan, the NHL and NHLPA really want to strike a deal this time. No foolin’. See for yourself.

Yeah, now how do you feel? Your indignation disgusts me.

Fear

So, the two sides met for five hours on Sunday, minus Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr. Without that dead weight I’m sure they were able to hash out a… what? Oh, they didn’t discuss core economics. Um…okay. Any ideas on what they did discuss? Nope? Okay. Awesome.

Hoo-ray…

Understanding (or Sarcasm)

Knowledge leads to understanding, and knowledge is power. Let’s see what Bill Daly had to say, and maybe this will all make sense. I’m sure everything is fine, you guys.

Oh, okay. Yeah, totally do your homework and stuff. You haven’t had, like, the past year to do that or anything. But, no, really do it this time. I know it’s tough, what with you being so busy right now and all. Just take your time.

I guess I don’t understand the definition of the word “meeting.”

Anger

This is true.

This is also true, if not slightly out of context.

Depression

Sigh. Here’s a link to Shoalts’s article, if you even care.

But wait! What about the meeting today? You know, they still mi–

Hockey – or something – and stuff… 🙁

Talking Points