Unsatisfied with taking Matt Greene and Willie Mitchell out for the rest of the season, the Hockey Gods claimed another victim from Los Angeles’ defense last night. After taking a seemingly innocuous-looking hit in the game against St. Louis, Alec Martinez will be placed on injured reserve.
When reached for comment, the gods expressed frustration that they were not able to take out Drew Doughty’s foot or Rob Scuderi’s eye back in Columbus. “Nothing personal against Martinez,” they remarked. “He was just the next d-man on the list. By the way, we’re mad at you.”
Why? “You’re a Kings fan. You know the drill.”
They also added that Slava Voynov “better keep his head on a swivel.”
All Kings fans are urged to burn miniature championship banners and pour out shots of whiskey as sacrifices. Spare rabbit feet, evil eye pendants, and lucky pennies found on the street should be forwarded to the remaining roster immediately. Those wishing to go the extra mile may light a candle in memory of Andrei Loktionov.
In the meantime, Andrew Campbell should be recalled from Manchester. So far his bones are unbroken.
No official word yet on whether Lombardi is working to trade a 5th round pick for Thomas Hickey.