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Kings-Leafs Preview: Ice Cream?!?

Since we last completely embarrassed ourselves in Detroit…

…the team went to Dairy Queen! Augh! This attitude is terrible. They should be wearing hairshirts and taking cold showers and eating thin gruel. Then walk barefoot over glass to beg our forgiveness.

It is a good thing they want to be yelled at — or wait, is it a bad thing? Do they need a coach to kick their butts, or not? Is a coach completely useless at this guiding and motivating thing? Who cares, I’m too enraged to figure it out!

Please, Kings, just try to a) have a gameplan, b) not play like dumbasses even if something goes wrong in the first ten minutes. We all know you’re capable of it.

I’M USING CAPSLOCK! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Possible lineup for the Leafs (an NHL team which can score goals):

Lupul-Connolly-Kessel
Kulemin-Grabovski-MacArthur
Crabb-Bozak-Frattin
Rosehill-Dupuis-Crabb

Gunnarsson-Phaneuf
Liles-Franson
Gardiner-Schenn

In net: James Reimer

Hip hip hooray.

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