BREAKING: Green Men Upgraded; Eager's behavior explained

Woman flashes breasts during Canucks-Sharks telecast -

The Vancouver Canucks have issued a statement after a woman flashed her breasts during Wednesday night’s game against San Jose. "I can confirm that the female in question was evicted from the game without incident," Jen Rollins, co-ordinator of media relations for Canucks Sports & Entertainment, wrote in an email to the Star. "We are following up with her today to help ensure incidents of this nature don’t happen again. " [...]

Yes, imagine what could happen if every time an opponent sat in the penalty box, he were to be assaulted in this manner. Vancouver would never lose. (Don't be surprised if the mystery woman turns out to be an intern of whoever is in charge of the Canuck's power play. The Kings tried a similar system this season, without success.)

The flashing occurred in the third period when, with 2:33 left, San Jose Shark Ben Eager skated to the penalty box for his fourth penalty of the night. Then a woman wearing a Henrik Sedin jersey pressed herself against the glass and lifted up her top. She pressed her breasts against the glass of the penalty box and wriggled them around for six seconds before putting her top back down. The Canucks won 7-3 [...]

Jeff Keay, head of media relations for CBC, said the breasts were captured by an in-house camera.

Makes it sound like they were apprehended.

I can't remember the last time I encountered "wriggled them around" in a news story. In a national newspaper, no less.

[...] The Green Men, who typically sit in the seats by the penalty box to agitate opposing players, tweeted earlier Wednesday that they would not be attending that evening’s game. [...] After the game, [they tweeted]: "I know we couldn’t be there but I hope we sent a suitable replacement (or is it replacements?)"

The NHL had announced they would be cracking down on the Green Men, saying the two Vancouver fans would not be allowed to touch the glass of the penalty box or do handstands. [...] "It’s a liability thing," [a green man said].

[...] The CBC hopes fans will act appropriately at games. "We appreciate the enthusiasm of hockey fans and trust they'll use their best judgment with regard to proper decorum at games." The NHL has yet to comment on the events at Wednesday night’s game.

It’s unknown if the mystery woman will face any penalty.

Hooking? No, not hooking. But I know there's a joke in there somewhere...

[if you follow the link, there is video with a black rectangle over the key plot points]